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such stressed day

I had a pig out at dinner tonight. I am very unhappy with myself for letting it happen but, this is one incident where I was actually aware of my feelings when I had the pig out. I am super stressed today.

I have a cat I inherited from my mother who is not spayed. She is 7 years old and the meanest, angriest, spiteful cat I have ever encountered. We have had her for 6 months now. I wanted to take car of the cat to do right for my mom as I know she would like her baby taken care of but, we HATE this cat. She won’t accept any love from us, she is constantly in heat and has started spraying in my house. She torments and terrorizes my other cat and even my dog. Most vets won’t fix her because of her age and the ones that will fix her, cost $200.00. I can’t afford that. I have been trying to find her a home but no one wants a cat that is not spayed and has only been a house cat. I finally had no choice but to make her an appointment to get spayed in the hopes that it will help her to stop spraying my house, and maybe if she can go outside like my other cat, she will be happier. At the very least, the rest of us will be happier if she goes outside as she won’t be scratching our ankles and hissing as we walk by her or look at her wrong. Now I need to figure out where I will get the finances to pay for it.

To top it all off, I was an hour late for work as I thought I was working a different shift and of course when my boss tried to phone to find out where I was, the ringers on my phones had be turned off so she couldn’t get through. She finally had to phone in a coworker who wasn’t due to start till later, to cover for me. They sure weren’t happy when I did arrive. Of course, no one in my house will fess up to who turned off the ringers. So all day I was very upset about this mistake and with the cat stress to boot, I had a pig out. I felt extremely upset, stressed, overwhelmed and like my emotions were going to burst myself  all over the universe, so I shoveled in food to keep the explosion from happening. I think this is the first time I have been fully aware of  my feelings at the time and why I was stuffing my face. It’s a start right?  

Now off  to run off some of the binge!

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