Dad, I love you! And I miss you so much!

Last Wednesday, Feb 17 th, my heart and soul were ripped out of my body. My heart is in pieces which I believe will no longer be able to be pieced together. I feel as if my soul is dying.

I lost my dad…

While at work, his aorta burst, causing blood to flow where it didn’t belong, and cutting off the flow of blood to his brain. He then suffered a massive stroke.

The surgeons were able to repair his heart, a very successful surgery, one they said had a low survival rate, and he survived, but his brain continued to swell to the point of cutting off blood flow to the other side of his brain causing more strokes. He never recovered. And it killed me to have to let him go.

Because of my grief, I was unable to do my weekly update last week for the Perfect 10 challenge, and to be honest, I don’t think I will be doing one for this week either. Because right now, I don’t give a crap about my workouts or my eating. I am hurting to much to care about anything. I can’t believe I have any tears left to shed, but, they keep on coming. The grief I feel is unbearable and I would trade places with him in a heart beat if I could only bring him back. And what makes my tears worse is that I never knew how many people loved my dad, how much he meant to these people, his friends and coworkers. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. At least he wasn’t alone while away from his family.

I love you dad, and I miss you!

Categories: Uncategorized
  1. February 24, 2010 at 1:45 am

    I’m sorry about your Dad. I hope that despite the pain, you need to be strong for you father.

  2. February 24, 2010 at 5:20 am

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  3. February 24, 2010 at 6:25 am

    Oh wow…I’m so sorry for your loss 😦 Wish I was able to say something else, but we’re here if you need anything.

  4. February 24, 2010 at 10:04 am

    Strength my friend.

  5. February 24, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    I’m so sorry. 😦 I wish there were anything I could say that would help even a tiny bit.

  6. February 25, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    I am so very sorry for your loss! I have lost both my mom & dad so all I can say is be good to yourself & at some point, the wonderful memories will help you with the grief.


  7. February 25, 2010 at 3:52 pm

    I am SO sorry.
    If you need anything, please, please don’t hesitate to ask. Sending lots of good thoughts and cyber hugs your way. What a crappy few weeks!!!!

    ❤ ❤ ❤

  8. February 25, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    Oh Karyn…. 😦 I sit here in tears for you!! (((Hugs))) I am SOO very sorry sweetie! I felt the same way when my grandpa died last year, it’s so very hard to keep going day to day. If you ever want to chat, please feel free to email me, or call me even! Hang in there!! Sending you lots of love & prayers. xo

  9. February 26, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss. It does really open up a hole in our hearts that never fully closes. I lost my mom almost 2 years ago, and I still cry at random things. Please feel free to cry when you need to and laugh when you can! God bless.

  10. February 26, 2010 at 7:33 pm

    Karyn, I am so terribly sorry to read this. Although I know it doesn’t help, I really know your pain right now, as I am still in pain myself.

    p.s. Be sure and check your email.

  11. Kat
    February 26, 2010 at 8:00 pm

    Karyn, I am so sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  12. February 26, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    Karyn – I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family.

  13. February 26, 2010 at 8:16 pm

    Karyn, I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you and your family. Hugs.

  14. RobFitness
    February 27, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Karyn, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I feel your pain deeply and not to take away from what you are going through but I know exactly how you feel. I just lost my Mom on January 26th. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry. It is so tough on me because she meant the world to me and always will. It was just a month ago that she passed but the memory of that day is ingrained in my heart. I am just glad that I made it back to NY before she passed away. I was there my her side at that moment and it will be something I will never forget.
    Be strong and take care of yourself. I am sure it’s something your Dad would have wanted you to do. Thats why in my Mom’s memory I am now devoting my life to be a healthier and more fit one. It isn’t easy, but I know she and would have wanted me to continue on this journey to better health.
    Know that I will be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Please take care and you can always e-mail if you want to talk.

  15. February 27, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Oh dear, Karyn, I just read this, and I am so sorry. Nothing I can say can bring your dad back … but be embraced, be embraced, be embraced.

    And be extra sweet with yourself as you walk this road. I wish you light and love and most of all, comfort.

  16. March 1, 2010 at 12:01 pm

    Just stopping by to check on you dear friend. I hope you’re coping. Please know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family right now.

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: