Tough time.

Today is a tough day for me. Ever since waking up. Most mornings for me, when I wake up, feel doomy and gloomy and depressing. I know it is because I have just lost my father but, it is still an awful feeling, one that makes me not want to get up to start the day. A day filled with dealings regarding my dad. I hate it. It is not fair. That he is gone so soon and that I have to go through this. My sister, who lives in another province, is coming here at the end of the month to help to clean out dad’s house. I am not ready! I don’t want to clean out his house, donate his things, make it real that he is gone. But, my sister is a single mom living on a part time job and can’t just come here, on a whim, whenever I am personally ready to let my dad go.  And we still need to spread his ashes, which I need my sister there for. And I still have my mom’s ashes from a year ago that we need to deal with. Is that going to be weird? To spread dad and mom’s ashes on the same day? For sure it will be. But, we don’t know when my sister will be able to get back here. It will be a very hard, emotional time.

—————

On another note, I went to work yesterday for the first time in three weeks. It was nice to see my friends again and talk about dad with them.

The funny thing was that yesterday, everyone noticed my weight loss. I have been losing weight for the past year and a half, almost two years, and yesterday was the first time anyone noticed. My close friends of course have noticed because I would start wearing different sized uniforms and clothes. But yesterday, I had 3 coworkers from different departments stop me in the halls and ask me how much weight I had lost and how I did it. Clean eating and taking up running! I had a lot of comments about how great I am looking. That made me feel really good about the work I have been doing and my success. It helps to keep me motivated and want to continue on this journey to good health I am on. I have joined the Daily Mile site to track my workouts and keep up with my fellow journeyers. You can checkout my daily mile page by clicking on the Daily Mile logo on the right.

Tonight I am going to meet my hubby at the gym after he gets off work and we are going to do our second session of resistance training together. Most of the time my workout with weights will be a home workout but, whenever I can, I will meet up with hubby and work out with him. It is great to see him making healthy choices on his own and doing something about his health.

How about you? Has it taken a while for people to notice your weight loss? Or do they notice right away? Do you hit the gym with your significant other?

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  1. March 10, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    I’m so sorry for your loss! My Mom died in April of last year, and, not that this is helpful, the past several months have been tough for me also. Sometimes, as in the poem, Splendor in the Grass, I try to remember that which I hold of her within. My thoughts are with you.

  2. March 10, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    So far I’m down about 37 pounds, and the only person (other than my wife), who has said anything to me about it is my mom 🙂

    I guess when it’s people you see every day at work, the gradual change isn’t as apparent. I still have a hard time noticing much difference when I look at myself in the mirror, but I can definitely feel the difference by the way my clothes fit.

  3. March 10, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    I love that cartoon BTW!

    As for you, I am so sorry & it does take so long to start feeling “real” again. I have lost both my parents & a lot of others so I do feel it for you. One day, it will just feel different but that day is individual & for me it took lots of time to be good to yourself but also keep the health thing there as that is important. It was a release for me.

    Maybe people noticed your weight loss more cause they did not see you every day. Whatever it is, compliments are great & good for you!!!! Have a good workout!

  4. March 10, 2010 at 5:13 pm

    My thoughts are with you. Congratulations on the compliments at work. These are priceless at this moment when you are just getting back to the world.

  5. March 10, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    Keep the faith, Karyn. I’m sure it’s really tough, but hopefully it won’t be too long and you’ll be able to move on and cope. ((Karyn))

    Congrats on all the compliments!

  6. March 10, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    Holding you in embrace, Karyn. It’s a bit like labour – you just have to keep pushing through this hard bit, and everything will be better on the other side. And you will be proud of yourself for making it through!

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